The Day Jim Died

Family Update

I took my 15-year-old, Alex, driving for the first time this week. He did great. We stuck to the back roads, and I could actually see his confidence growing with each turn. I told him it’s just like driving our golf cart, and that seemed to help. Alex is also gearing up to be the commissioner of this year’s fantasy football league. I was Grand Champion last year, and he took the crown the year before, so the rivalry is real.

Chris is going to be dual-enrolled for his senior year. He’ll be taking online classes through Southeastern University, which is likely where he’ll attend after graduation. He’s loading up on music classes, his true passion, and I love seeing him pursue what lights him up.

And then there’s Stinky. He got neutered yesterday. I was more nervous than I expected, and he was not thrilled about the car ride there. When I picked him up, they said he’d be groggy for a day or two from the drugs and that I should try to keep him safe and isolated.

Well, that didn’t happen.

The moment we got home, he shot out of the carrier and started chasing the dogs like a lunatic. I tried to get him into my room to rest, but he screamed like his tail was caught in a door. So much for a slow recovery.

Below is a photo from shortly after we got home.

Don’t Be Left in the Dark #1

I had a meeting recently that reminded me why communication matters so much, especially in retirement.

Frank, a newly retired police officer, was excited about his next chapter. He met with his advisor a few times, got all the puzzle pieces in place, and built a strong, diversified retirement plan. But there was one big problem: his wife, Barbara, never came to the meetings.

Frank had the plan. He understood the numbers. He was ready to spend the income his investments were generating and finally enjoy the fruits of his labor, maybe even buy an old bass boat and hit the Gulf.

So one morning, coffee in hand, he casually mentioned to Barb: "I think I might check out that boat I saw online."

Barb’s response? "Are you kidding me? We can’t afford that. The news said the stock market went way down last night. And Nancy next door says the whole economy is about to collapse!"

That was the end of the boat conversation. And probably the beginning of some tension in the house.

The lesson?

If you're married, you've got to bring your spouse into the conversation. Even if one of you typically “handles this stuff,” you’ll both sleep better, and dream bigger, when you’re on the same page.

Otherwise, you might end up like Frank… parked on the couch, watching fishing shows, wondering what could have been.

Don’t Be Left in the Dark #2

Jim handled everything. The bills, the investments, the taxes, you name it. Mary didn’t mind. He was good at it, and she trusted him.

“Jim’s got it,” she’d say with a smile any time the topic of money came up. And he did. For 42 years, he made sure everything was paid, planned, and invested wisely. Until Jim passed away.

Everything changed.

Mary suddenly found herself in a whirlwind. Piles of unopened statements. Passwords she didn’t know. Accounts she didn’t recognize. She wasn’t even sure how much money they had, or where it all was.

She called their financial advisor in a panic. She felt ashamed, even though she had nothing to be ashamed of. “I just don’t know what’s going on,” she admitted. "I don't understand these accounts. I don’t know if I am going to be ok. I feel like I’m starting from zero.”

Jim had built a solid financial plan. But the communication part? That piece never got the attention it deserved. The result? Mary spent the first year of widowhood not just grieving, but afraid. Overwhelmed. Lost.

And it didn’t have to be that way.

Here’s the hard truth: If you love your spouse, don’t leave them clueless.

Even if you’re the one “who always handles this stuff,” your spouse deserves to understand the basics: Where things are. What the plan is. Who to call. How to access accounts. What to expect.

Because someday, hopefully far in the future, they may have to walk this path without you.

Start the conversation now. Make sure you visit your financial advisor together. Write things down. Communicate. Make a plan that works for both of you, not just the one who “gets the money stuff.”

Be Blessed,

Dave