With Dalanee in Houston, back here at home, it’s just the guys. Me and my three teenage boys. Honestly, it’s pretty easy. I just fire up the grill, throw some steaks on, and they magically emerge from their rooms, grab a plate, and then disappear back into their lairs. They’re responsible enough that I don’t have to worry about school or schedules; they handle it all themselves.
The only ones really thrown off are the dogs. Normally, they follow Dalanee around like shadows and sleep on top of her at night. Now they just wander the house looking confused, not quite sure what to do with themselves. Eventually, they find their way to me, but I know I’m a poor substitute.
The cats don't seem to care one way or the other.
We’re doing well, holding down the fort, and grateful for your prayers.
Yesterday I dropped my wife off at the airport. She’s heading to MD Anderson in Houston for her breast cancer surgery with her best friend. Before the surgery, she’ll have days of scans, consultations, and prep. She’ll be there for two weeks, and I’ll be holding things together with the kids until I can sneak out after the surgery to join her.
The past couple of years have been a blur of hospitals, waiting rooms, and doctors’ offices. First came the migraines, 13 months of nonstop pain. We consulted specialists across the country, including Mayo, Jefferson, and the Diamond Clinic in Chicago. Treatment after treatment, and nothing worked… until one experimental therapy finally did.
We thought we could breathe again, then cancer came back. This time more serious. Not spread, but nothing to play around with. That’s why we’re at MD Anderson.
And in all this, we’ve learned a lot about how the system really works:
Don’t Be Fooled by the White Coat
Just because someone has “MD” after their name doesn’t mean they’re the best. Some are amazing. Others? Not so much.
You Need an Advocate
If you don’t have someone keeping track, things get missed. Pills, shifts, instructions. Having someone ask questions and push matters more than you’d think.
Do Your Own Homework
Doctors often follow set protocols. One top oncologist told us chemo was needed. When I asked about the benefit, she said, “1–3%.” That’s it. If you don’t ask, you don’t know. Luckily, I had researched things myself to help us make a balanced decision.
ChatGPT Has Actually Helped
I can paste in lab results and get them explained in plain English. It pulls up current research, too, so I walk into appointments with real questions. Doesn’t replace a doctor, but makes you stronger in the room.
Hospitals Are Businesses
This one surprised me most: surgeries, chemo, procedures, big money makers. One surgeon called me personally three minutes after hearing we were going elsewhere, practically begging me not to wait. It felt more like a sales pitch than a medical opinion.
Take Notes Like Crazy
Every pill, every dose, every instruction. Keep records. Don’t assume systems talk to each other. They don’t.
You Can Get Into the Big Hospitals
Mayo, Sloan Kettering, MD Anderson, people assume you can’t get in. We got in within a month every time. They want patients. Don’t settle for “good enough” care locally when you can get to the best.
Execution Matters
Same treatment, different doctor, totally different results. We saw it with Botox for migraines. One place, life-changing. Another, worthless.
I wish these weren’t the lessons we had to learn, but they’re real. Behind the polished commercials and “we care for you” slogans is a system driven by protocols, pressure, and profit. Unless you advocate, research, push, and question, you’re at their mercy.
It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. But if you share this, maybe it’ll help someone else down the road.
Be Blessed,
Dave