Family Update
It's that time of year. The kids are done with school, and Senay is coming home from college. But most importantly, we replaced the couch with the new one without the old one getting destroyed by the cats. I'm sure all of you are sick and tired of hearing about my couch.
We have a cat feud in our house. Hemingway is a massive, lumbering ragdoll cat. He probably weighs 20 pounds and has never shown an ounce of aggression in his life. Stinky, on the other hand, is a spry, adolescent kitten. Maybe 10 pounds. Fast, curious, and relentlessly annoying. He spends his days darting around the house, pouncing, poking, and generally testing the patience of every living creature he encounters—especially Hemingway.
For weeks, Hemingway tolerated this with saint-level restraint until he didn’t.
The other day, I watched Hemingway quietly trap Stinky under a countertop. When Stinky tried to make a break for it, Hemingway transformed from a slow-moving rug into a flying, spinning furball of fury. I didn’t even know Hemingway had that gear.
Stinky had it coming.
Most people don’t spend much time thinking about what happens to their house when they die, which makes sense. It’s not exactly an upbeat dinner conversation. But for most families, the house is the biggest asset they own, and it’s also the one that tends to cause the most confusion after someone is gone.
If you’re married and one spouse dies, things are usually pretty straightforward. In most cases, the surviving spouse simply becomes the full owner of the house. There’s no court involvement, no paperwork marathon, and no immediate drama.
From the outside, it looks easy. What people don’t always realize is that from that point on, the house belongs entirely to the survivor. They can sell it, change beneficiaries, remarry, or leave it somewhere completely different later on. That might be exactly what you intended. Or it might not be something you ever really talked through.
If both spouses die, that’s where things slow down. Now the house doesn’t automatically belong to anyone. If there’s a trust in place, this part is usually smooth and relatively quiet. If there’s only a will, or worse, nothing at all, the house almost always ends up in probate.
Probate is the legal system’s way of ensuring everything is done properly, but it tends to be slow, public, and more expensive than people expect. During that time, the house can’t just be sold immediately, even though the property taxes, insurance, and maintenance bills keep showing up right on schedule. Houses have no sympathy.
Single homeowners are often the most surprised by all of this. When a single person dies, someone has to be legally appointed to deal with the house before much of anything can happen. Until that occurs, things can stall. Meanwhile, the house is sitting empty, which is rarely a good thing. Vacant houses have a talent for developing problems quickly, usually at the worst possible time.
This is why people hear so much about avoiding probate. Probate isn’t evil, and it doesn’t mean something went wrong. It’s just slow. It’s also public.
Here in Florida, one planning tool that sometimes makes a lot of sense is something called a Lady Bird Trust. In very plain English, it lets you keep full control of your home while you’re alive and then have it pass directly to the people you’ve chosen when you die—without going through probate. You can still sell the house, refinance it, or change your mind later. Nothing really changes during your lifetime.
This is something you’d set up with an estate planning attorney. I can point you in the right direction if you need help. I see these work very well for many clients, and they’re often simpler than people expect.
One of the most common things I hear is, "I’ll just leave the house to the kids." That sounds fair, and sometimes it works fine. But it also assumes that everyone agrees on what should happen next. One child may want to keep the house. Another wants to sell it immediately. Another may be living in it and not in a hurry to go anywhere.
Without clear instructions, the house can sit there while the bills pile up and frustration grows. I’ve seen families spend more energy arguing about a house than they ever spent enjoying it.
Estate planning isn’t about being wealthy or complicated. It’s about clarity. A little planning now can save your family a lot of stress later.
Be Blessed,
Dave