Jesse's 7th-grade class now requires that the boys bring deodorant and put it on between each and every class. Middle schoolers do not change clothes for recess or gym class at their school. I can't even imagine what it is like for that teacher in that little room of boys verging on puberty. Gross.
I hope everyone is safe and sound from the hurricane. I am writing this on Wednesday, so I'm unsure what will happen. Everyone is extra skittish this time around, it seems (with good reason).
Amazing, amazing, amazing news. Dalanee is feeling significantly better. I woke up yesterday, and she was making waffles. Even the kids were confused. They haven't seen their mom out of bed since last Christmas. The drug that did the trick was Elyxyb. It's a brand-new form of Celebrex that reduces inflammation.
The doctors almost all agree that this started with COVID that she had last Christmas. It triggered an inflammation response, and she was genetically predisposed to migraines (her mom has had them her whole life). We haven't even started to understand the full extent of what that virus does to us.
Above is a picture of her birthday. Her best present was a pain-free day.
"We all knew the coma was permanent. Bill, Jason, and I stood around his lifeless body, arguing over his fate. Ultimately, we kept him alive for five more years, living as a vegetable (I always thought of him as a carrot. Bill preferred viewing him as a turnip). The faint beep of the heart machine was his best and only friend."
-The Art of Dying: A Practical Guide to the End of Life, by Katy Butker
Let’s discuss a few not-so-fun but extremely important topics: end-of-life documents. Trust me, it’s crucial. I mean, we’re talking life-and-death kind of crucial.
Nobody likes the idea, but a hospice nurse I know recently told me, "The most important thing you need to talk about at Thanksgiving is what you want to happen in serious medical situations." I kind of laughed at her, and she paused, stared me dead in the eye, and said, "I’m serious."
She had seen so many traumatic situations that tore families apart forever. Make sure you have designated decision-makers in place.
Picture this: Your family is gathered in the hospital room of your dear old dad, who’s fighting for his life. One of your siblings is adamant about keeping him on life support, while another is all for letting him go peacefully. Without a clear healthcare proxy or power of attorney in place, this situation could spiral into a messy, emotionally charged battle that nobody wants to be a part of. Family drama is the last thing you need when you’re already dealing with a tough situation.
Now, imagine this: Your mom has a sudden heart attack and passes away. But hold on, here comes your well-meaning but slightly misguided sibling, insisting on performing CPR. Now, in front of your own eyes, you have to witness the violent act of chest compressions (it will probably break almost all her ribs).
Your grandma is battling a serious illness, and the doctors are discussing treatment options. Without a trusted healthcare proxy in place, disagreements among family members could lead to endless debates about what’s best for grandma. Grandma should have made her wishes known.
Frequently, the most beneficial action for your family is to proactively appoint one member as the decision-maker. The nurse mentioned earlier informed me that without a designated decision-maker, disputes often arise over who has the authority to make decisions. By establishing this in advance, there will be no grounds for disagreement.
In the event of a car accident that leaves you in a coma and unable to make decisions for yourself, it's important to have a power of attorney in place to handle your financial and legal matters. Without one, it may be challenging for someone to pay your bills or make important decisions on your behalf.
For example, if your spouse needs to access your IRA to cover medical expenses or other urgent financial needs without a power of attorney (POA) in place, you, as the spouse, cannot withdraw money from their account.
I think you get the point. While unpleasant, this needs to be addressed now. If you haven’t already, answer the questions below and get them to your loved ones. Some people think you must make it all fancy and have a lawyer draw it up, but that is unusually unnecessary. There would rarely be a legal challenge to these kinds of healthcare wishes. Just fill it out and get it done. Start the conversation because once you’ve had it you never have to think about it again.
Be Blessed,
Dave
1. Healthcare Decisions
•Preferred Level of Medical Intervention:
In case of a severe medical event (e.g., heart attack, stroke), which level of intervention would you prefer?
•Full Treatment (all possible life-saving measures, including CPR, ventilator, etc.)
•Limited Treatment (medications, oxygen, non-invasive treatments only)
•Comfort Care Only (focus on pain relief and comfort without prolonging life)
•Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) Order:(don’t perform life-saving measures, such as CPR, if you are in a severe state of decline)
•Yes
•No
•Feeding Tubes and Artificial Nutrition:
Would you want to receive artificial nutrition and hydration if you cannot eat or drink?
•Yes
•No
•Additional Instructions:
•Ventilator Use:
Would you want to be placed on a ventilator if you cannot breathe on your own?
•Yes
•No
2. End-of-Life Scenarios
•Severe Brain Injury or Coma:
If you are in a permanent vegetative state or unresponsive state with no reasonable chance of recovery, what are your wishes?
•Continue all life-sustaining treatments.
•Discontinue treatments and provide comfort care only
•
•Dementia or Progressive Cognitive Decline:
How would you want your care to be managed if you experience advanced dementia or a similar condition?
•Full medical care and treatment
•Comfort care only with no extraordinary measures
3. Hospice and Palliative Care
•Hospice Care:
Would you prefer hospice care if your condition is terminal?
•Yes
•No
•Preferred Place of Care:
Where would you like to receive care in the event of a terminal illness?
•At home
•In a hospice facility
•In a hospital
•Other:
4. Organ and Tissue Donation
•Organ Donation:
Would you like to donate your organs or tissues after death?
•Yes, any needed organs
•Yes, but only specific organs (please specify):
•No
6. Financial and Legal Affairs
•Power of Attorney:
Do you have a designated Power of Attorney for healthcare and financial decisions? (where is it located)
•Yes, Name:
•No
•Will or Trust:
Do you have a current will or trust? (where is it located?)
•Yes
•No
•Contact Information for Legal or Financial Advisors:
•Attorney:
•Financial Advisor:
•Other Contacts:
7. Personal Messages or Legacy
•Messages for Loved Ones:
Would you like to leave any personal messages or letters to family members?
8. Decision-Making Authority
•Healthcare Proxy or Medical Power of Attorney:
Who do you want to make healthcare decisions on your behalf if you cannot do so?
•Name:
•Relationship:
•Contact Information:
•Alternate Healthcare Proxy:
Who should be the alternate decision-maker if the primary healthcare proxy is unavailable?
•Name:
•Relationship:
•Contact Information:
•Scope of Decision-Making Authority:
•Full authority to make all healthcare decisions
•Limited authority (please specify any restrictions):
•Financial Power of Attorney:
Who do you want to make financial decisions on your behalf if you cannot do so?
•Name:
•Relationship:
•Contact Information:
•Alternate Financial Power of Attorney:
If the primary financial decision-maker is unavailable, who should be the alternate?
•Name:
•Relationship:
•Contact Information:
•Decision-Making Preferences:
Are there specific instructions or wishes you want your decision-makers to follow regarding your healthcare or financial matters?
•Yes (please detail):
•No
Note: The Power of Attorney needs to be a legal document, signed and notarized. It is simple, and the template below can be used for free.
https://www.aaapbtc.org/sites/default/files/documents/Caregiver%20Page/floridadurablepowerofattorneyform.pdf